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I feel a bit depressed the pat few days…
Maybe a combination of the lack of sleep and my low blood pressure..
(well there is a FACTUAL and ACTUAL scientific journal
that states low blood pressure induce depression)

Anyway…
I become much melancholic and easily disturbed…
And when I am disturbed, I don’t look angry…
but usually I cry, I weep, I let my tears drench away my emotion…

Many things happened,
concerning my bachelor thesis,
the festival I’m organizing,
friend and family issues,
and some other minor stuff.

The only thing that is okay,
is somehow my college courses…
It is usually the last thing okay about me.
But since I love all my courses this semester,
I don’t actually have any problems with it…
HELL YEAH!!!

Anyway, one of the most recent issue that I am having is the family issue.

Well, no, my family is not breaking apart,
Thank God!
But there are always issues in the family.
Good issues, bad issues,
or neither god or bad, but just shocking.

In the midst of the shocking issue,
I rediscover this poem that I have known for some time.
And someone actually made it into a beautiful video,
with a beautiful background song.

the poem goes like this

My Child,When I get old,
I hope you understand and have patience with me.
In case I break a plate, spill soup because loosing my eyesight,
I hope you don’t yell at me.
Older people are sensitive.
Always having self pity when you yell.
When my hearing gets worse and can’t hear what you’re saying
I hope you don’t call me “Deaf!”.
Please repeat it or write it down.
I’m sorry my Child, I’m getting older.

When my knees get weaker,
I hope you have the patience to help me get up.
Like how I used to help you while you were learning how to walk.
Please bear with me…

When I keep repeating myself like broken record,
I hope you just keep listening to me.
Please don’t make fun of me or get sick of listening to me.
Do you remember when you were little and wanted a balloon?
U repeated yourself over and over until you got what you wanted.

Please also pardon my smell.
I smell like an old person.
Please don’t force me to shower.
My body is weak.
Old people get sick easily when they’re cold.
Do you remember when I used to chase you around
because you didn’t want to shower?
I hope you can be patient when I’m always cranky.
It’s all part of getting old.
You’ll understand when you’re older.

And if you have a spare time,
I hope we can talk even for a few minutes.
I’m always all by myself all the time and have no one to talk to.
I know you busy with your work.
Even if you not interested in my stories,
please have time for me.
Do you remember
when I used to listen to your stories about your teddy bear?

When the time comes,
I get ill and bedridden,
I hope you have the patience to take care of me.
I’m sorry if I accidentally wet the bed or make a mess.
I hope you have the patience to take care of me
during the last few moment of my life.
I’m not going to last much longer, anyway.

When the time of my death comes,
I hope you hold my hand and give me the strength to face death.

And don’t worry…
When I finally meet our Creator,
I will whisper in His ear to BLESS you..
Because you loved your Mom and Dad.

Thank you so much for your care. We love you.

I felt so sad, from the poem.
And then I randomly search for
“Letter for Mom and Dad”

And I actually found a teenage girl, using the pseudonym IrisNinie,
who tries to reciprocate the poem above.

Although the artsy level can’t be compared to the original poem,
but her poem is as much heartwarming and mind opening as the original poem.

She also made it to a video,
using the same background song.

This is for you Mummy and Daddy
I Love You forever Mummy, Daddy!
Mummy, Daddy, I’M SORRY
If I ever made you angry…

I hope you will still love me forever and ever..
I hope you will NEVER LEAVE me, if I’d gone too far…
I hope you will still have FAITH and CARE for me, even if I make you crazy…
I hope you will continue ENCOURAGING and SUPPORTING me even if I failed repeatedly…

When you become ill at some point of time,
and I CAN’T TAKE CARE OF YOU ANYMORE…
I hope your LOVE will still always be with me when I move on..
I hope you can see me grow up to become the lady of your dreams..
I apologize if I ever disobeyed and broke your heart..

If I had a superpower, I’d like to have the power of TIME…
So that I can go back in time and erase my mistakes…
So that I can make you proud of me…
So that I can serve the people I know, in a better way…
So that I can make people SMILE!!

I just wish I can be with you forever & ever & ever…
I just wish I can see you every second of my life…

But looking at the troublesyou are facing right now, makes me worry…
Worry about the things that will happen to us…

Sometimes I just whisper to myself…
“I already have a broken life…
My family is broken into little tiny pieces…
I might not be able to see my daddy anymore…
Or maybe I won’t get to see my mommy…
What’s happening to us, God?”

I just wish we can ALL be together again..
However, my wish can’t be granted…

I wish you can be here with me…
Right here, right now..
As I look back at the pictures I took with you,
tears drip down my cheek..
If I die and leave your sight,
I hope you will ALWAYS REMEMBER ME…

I don’t love ANYONE ELSE more than I love you…
Not Justin Bieber, not Jaden Smith, not Christian Beadles…
YOU!!!

I can still remember the days,
both of you take turns to whisper in my ear,
each and every night you tuck me in to sleep…

I can still remember the days,
when I knocked on your door late at night,
because I had a terrible dream…

I can still remember the days,
when you hold my hand when you take me out…

But now I know those days are becoming a dream..

I am sorry for everything i’ve done…
I really hope you will forgive me and forget the troubles done…

If you really don’t believe how sorry i am…
I don’t really know what to say…

I really am sorry…
I hope you will forgive me…
I can’t say anything else but this…

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

These poems made me cry…
And not just teary eyes, but real drips of water falling from my eyes,
creating streams on my cheek, and made my nose watery ;p

I even canceled my plan to go to my Lab at campus,
cause I don’t wanna go to campus with my eyes all red and swollen.

From these videos I was reminded that
when everything goes from bad to worse,
when everyone seems to hate you for ALL the reason they can find.\

FAMILY are those who will stay by your side,
that will have your back,
and will love you for NO reason.

F ather
A nd
M other
I
L ove
Y ou

- quoted from “I not Stupid Too” -

All my love to them,
(^_^)

Music and lyric : Corrinne May
Chords transcription by javenne

C                                           D
Don’t worry about that extra line
Em
That’s creeping up upon your face
C                             D
It’s just a part of nature’s way
Em                                                D
To say you’ve grown a little more
C                                        D
Trees have rings and thicker branches
Em                                  D
Kids shoes get a little tighter
Am                                                           C
Every year we’re getting closer to who we’re gonna be
Am                                                      C                                          D
It’s time to celebrate the story of how you’ve come to be

G                          D
Happy birthday my friend
C
Here’s to all the years we’ve shared together
Am                          D
All the fun we’ve had
Em
You’re such a blessing
Am
Such a joy in my life
G
May the good Lord bless you
D                                               G
And may all your dreams come true

C                               D
So light a candle on your cake
Em
For every smile you’ve helped create
C                                       D
For every heart and every soul
Em                          D
You’ve known to grow a little more
C                                      D
A few more pounds, a little more grey
Em                                                                D
Don’t count the years just count the way
Am                                                    C
It takes a little time to go from water into wine
Am                                                         C                                 D
Don’t ever lose the wonder of the child within your eyes

G                          D
Happy birthday my friend
C
Here’s to all the years we’ve shared together
Am                          D
All the fun we’ve had
Em
You’re such a blessing
Am
Such a joy in my life
G
May the good Lord bless you
D                                               G
And may all your dreams come true

So because of my lost phone,
I had to buy a new phone.

My criteria was :
1. Network : 3.5 g, wifi, bluetooth
2. Display : touchscreen
3. Input : real qwerty buttons
4. Charger : micro usb
5. OS : windows / android
6. Brand : notable, and have an authorized service center in Bandung
7. Budget : US$275

So I was down to 2 choices.
1. HTC chacha
2. Samsung galaxy pro

It was not a though decision, there’s a $75 price differrence, and I’m much of a cheapo.

So first off, unboxing.
The box looks like this

And inside the box there are these things :
1. Charger (which also functions as a data cable)
2. Manual book
3. Headphone (with extra clip and ear buds)
4. Warranty card
5. 2GB sd card

So how is it?
It’s a good phone, fairly easy to use.
It’s android based, so loooots of free apps.

Its qwerty keyboard is the right size for me.
I have small hands, so those with bigger hand might find it annoying.
But then again, if you find it easy using on screen keyboard it will be waaay easier typing with a real keyboard.
At time I still find navigating by tapping the screen is a nuissance, and thankfully it comes with real 4 ways navigation buttons too.

The first downside is, I couldn’t find the file browser til now, so I use a thir party one to transfer files via bluetooth.
Another thing is the internal memory space is twiiiiniiie.
And it has so many preloaded apps.
It becomes annoying cause everytime I download a new apps it automatically get installed in the phone
(Not to the sd card).
And at times it can’t installs the apps because  the phone memory is full,
so I have to download the apps allover again.

If being used for online purposes continuously,
the battery can only give enough power for around 3 hours.
In an idle state it can go up to 2 full days.
If being used for offline purposes continuously it can go about 10 hours-ish.

And topping all of that the most epic feature is the dedicated facebook button.
If you press it in the home page it will go to your fb status update page.
If being pressed when you are looking at photos, it will share the photo.

I’m sooo gonna figure out how to override the button.
Not much use really.

All in all, it is a good phone with a great value for money, the right size and an epic facebook button!!!
My verdict : 7.4/10

You start to think that you’re doing something wrong somewhere, when you have to analyse this

and you came up with this

@_@

someone who surely knows what to do please tell me ={

In these two weeks, two people related to my high school passed away.
My German teacher, Frau Yustin,
and my junior Fanka.

It made me remember these two sayings.
The first is the one in the title,
which is a Latin proverb

Quem di diligunt, adulescens moritur…
dum valet, sentit, sapit

(Plautus, Bacchides, IV, 7, 18)

Whom the Gods love, dies young
while he is full of health, perception and judgement

and a saying from a famous Indonesian activist

Orang yang paling beruntung adalah orang yang tidak pernah dilahirkan, yang kedua adalah mereka yang mati muda, dan yang paling sial adalah mereka yang melewati masa tua.

(Soe Hok Gie)

The luckiest persons are those who were never born, the second luckiest is those who die young, and the unluckiest ones are those who die in old age

Two of the most unfair proverbs.
Two of the most unfair condition of life.
At least, for those who were left behind.

But these also meant to become a comfort for those who were left behind,
to acknowledge that they have died in time of fulfillment and joy.
Surrounded by people who love and care for them.

As much as the world loves them,
God loves them more.

In perpetuum, sorores, ave et vale,
and may your souls rest in peace.